Geek Smithology

March 4, 2008

Review – Good Luck Chuck

Filed under: Sight by Nathan @ 10:12 pm

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Good Luck Chuck is supposed to be a sexy romantic comedy. The problem is that it is not sexy. It is not romantic. It is not funny. This is a movie that expects us to find a woman with three breasts funny. There are situations where superfluous female anatomy can be entertaining (see Mallrats), but we’re supposed to laugh just because they’re there. This is a complete waste of time, and one of the worse movies ever made.

It concerns one Charlie Logan (Dane Cook) who, upon rebuffing the advances of the token goth girl during a spirited game of spin-the-bottle, is doomed to always have his girlfriends leave him only to find true love in their next fling. Somehow the news gets out and all of a sudden Logan finds himself besieged by women desperate to sleep with him so they can find “the one.” This leads to vignette after vignette filled with coital fury, a technique that may titillate teens desperate for on-screen breast footage, but quickly becomes boring to the rest of us.

Soon Charlie is infatuated with Cam Wexler (Jessica Alba.) He doesn’t want to sleep with her so that he may keep her for himself. There is a gross-out moment in an attempt to prove the curse wrong, and a pilgrimage to find the goth girl who cast it, but it’s all in aid of a ridiculous premise. Cam is so daft and clumsy that sleeping with her is the only thing that somebody might want to do. There are no surprises – the movie develops and ends according to formula.

Jessica Alba is one of the best-looking actresses in Hollywood, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that she cannot act. I’ve been waiting ever since Idle Hands for her to blossom, and it just hasn’t happened. She hasn’t helped herself with the roles she’s chosen, but you can only work with what you’re given.

And I want to like Dane Cook. He seems like a nice enough guy who could go far playing the same kind of average-joe-cum-straight-man that Luke Wilson plays so well. But he isn’t funny, and his performance in this movie, which consists largely of faking intercourse followed by acting like a stalker, just might sink his career. If this is what we have to look forward to, maybe that’s for the best. Even in a movie like Mr. Brooks, the best Cook can hope for is to not wreck everything.

In one of those Chris Farley buddy comedies a clearly disgusted David Spade intones “I can actually hear you getting fatter.” While watching Good Luck Chuck I could actually feel my IQ going lower. This is a movie with no redeeming qualities that can only be saved if all copies are found and destroyed.

half a star

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