Geek Smithology

March 4, 2008

Review – Good Luck Chuck

Filed under: Sight by Nathan @ 10:12 pm

good_luck_chuck.jpg

Good Luck Chuck is supposed to be a sexy romantic comedy. The problem is that it is not sexy. It is not romantic. It is not funny. This is a movie that expects us to find a woman with three breasts funny. There are situations where superfluous female anatomy can be entertaining (see Mallrats), but we’re supposed to laugh just because they’re there. This is a complete waste of time, and one of the worse movies ever made.

It concerns one Charlie Logan (Dane Cook) who, upon rebuffing the advances of the token goth girl during a spirited game of spin-the-bottle, is doomed to always have his girlfriends leave him only to find true love in their next fling. Somehow the news gets out and all of a sudden Logan finds himself besieged by women desperate to sleep with him so they can find “the one.” This leads to vignette after vignette filled with coital fury, a technique that may titillate teens desperate for on-screen breast footage, but quickly becomes boring to the rest of us.

Soon Charlie is infatuated with Cam Wexler (Jessica Alba.) He doesn’t want to sleep with her so that he may keep her for himself. There is a gross-out moment in an attempt to prove the curse wrong, and a pilgrimage to find the goth girl who cast it, but it’s all in aid of a ridiculous premise. Cam is so daft and clumsy that sleeping with her is the only thing that somebody might want to do. There are no surprises – the movie develops and ends according to formula.

Jessica Alba is one of the best-looking actresses in Hollywood, but it’s becoming increasingly clear that she cannot act. I’ve been waiting ever since Idle Hands for her to blossom, and it just hasn’t happened. She hasn’t helped herself with the roles she’s chosen, but you can only work with what you’re given.

And I want to like Dane Cook. He seems like a nice enough guy who could go far playing the same kind of average-joe-cum-straight-man that Luke Wilson plays so well. But he isn’t funny, and his performance in this movie, which consists largely of faking intercourse followed by acting like a stalker, just might sink his career. If this is what we have to look forward to, maybe that’s for the best. Even in a movie like Mr. Brooks, the best Cook can hope for is to not wreck everything.

In one of those Chris Farley buddy comedies a clearly disgusted David Spade intones “I can actually hear you getting fatter.” While watching Good Luck Chuck I could actually feel my IQ going lower. This is a movie with no redeeming qualities that can only be saved if all copies are found and destroyed.

half a star

March 2, 2008

Why TV hosts should helm the Oscars.

Filed under: Sight by Nathan @ 3:04 pm

I am a huge fan of the The Movie Blog. It’s one of the funniest commentary sites on the internet, and their “Audio Edition” podcast often embarrasses me by making me laugh out loud in public places. But, sometimes they are just plain wrong. And in this video (which is hilarious and otherwise bang-on) he claims that someone from Hollywood should host the Oscars. I don’t think that’s a good idea, for two main reasons:

1) I don’t think George Clooney would even want to do it. These are major Hollywood stars, potentially nominated for an Academy Award ™. With all due respect to the host and what he or she brings, I think any star that we’d actually want as host would want to be host. I mean, I’m sure Rob Schneider would want to do it. Oh wait, he’s not a movie star. Or a TV star.

2) John Stewart (and Johnny Carson, and others) are used to doing things in front of a live audience and live cameras day in and day out. They don’t expect a lot of takes, they have a lot of “improvised repartee” in their back pockets, and a relaxed manner in front of an audience that a more “appropriate” Hollywood host may lack.

So, what do you think, folks? Should they try and get George Clooney to host? Or do you agree with me and think that they should get John Stewart to host for as long as he wants?

March 1, 2008

New Puzzle Quest Game…

Filed under: Games by Nathan @ 2:19 pm

Puzzle Quest was the best game of 2007. Bioshock was cool, but didn’t hold my interest long enough to finish it. Maybe some other year. And while Portal held my attention like few games in history, it only held that attention for about three massively entertaining hours. So it was with great glee that I read on Gamasutra that there will be another game. In space! With my PC languishing in the basement, if I game it’s on the DS, so between a new Puzzle Quest game and the upcoming Civ port, I’ll be content for a very, very long time.

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